Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
