Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize