But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize