You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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