Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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