The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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