Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
