i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
