My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
