Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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