maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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