I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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