I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
