Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
