The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
