ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
