i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
