a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
