yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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