i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
