Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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