I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
