Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
