he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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