everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im holly from the hills drunk
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
