Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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