I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
