So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
