take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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