yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We have so much sex to catch up on
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
