I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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