Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How external is "for external use only"?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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