in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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