People with herpes should wear stickers.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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