Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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