you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
