hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize