woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
