we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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