he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
