so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
