i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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