Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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