No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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