i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
