her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize