let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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