If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
