I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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