Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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