HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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