did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
