Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
