oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
