just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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