winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
