I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
