so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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