We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
