idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
