bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
