he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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