Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
