i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
