it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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